On Gun Control and Civil Liberties

We all know the arguments on both sides. Civil Liberties vs. stemming the tide of gun violence. But this push-pull does not really touch a deeper issue. Why are young men, in particular, so angry at society that they would take the lives of others with them? Why is it that these young men have little or no concern
for the outcome of their actions?
What we need to ask ourselves is how are boys growing into men? Rosie O'Donnell and Tom Selleck had a famous conversation in 2008 on this very topic, when Tom was trying to plug his movie "Love Letters" and it did not go well. Rosie was angry about his connections with the NRA and his stance for civil liberties. She kept at him "You are a spokesperson for the NRA!" And he said, "No I am not." "But you are doing commercials for them!" she shot back. But if you listen to the tape, what Mr. Selleck was asking to discuss were this very question of why do young depressed men want to take others out with them today.
Mr. Selleck: "Suicide is tragic. Fifty years ago if someone got depressed they would kill themselves and it was tragic. But today, no one seems to be asking why are they going into a theatre and taking 26 people with them? Not much has changed here, guns were available then as they are now. But something has changed in the society."
The thing is, he is right. What has changed here? Guns are still available as they were then, but what has changed is examples of others taking others with them to get their point across. The other thing are media has quadrupled. Fifty years ago we had telephones for connecting with other people. And sometimes party lines where several families, in the country, were connected with the same telephone line connecting to their neighbors. Today, everyone has a cell phone, social media has become available and kids use it to bully other kids in some situations. Certainly they connect with their friends too. But when a child is harassed it is not a few classmates on the playground that are humiliating, it is the whole world on the internet that can embarrass. More than one child has committed suicide because of what was out there posted by their "friends." Now while this is tragic, why are boys more likely to kill classmates and other school children, or take out a theatre of people wanting to see a movie as in Aurora, Colorado.
The question remains, what is initiating our young men? Joseph Campbell said in his book on myth and culture from the series with Bill Moyers; "Nature initiates women while society initiates men." We have a culture today that initiates men through movie heroes like John Wayne, Tom Selleck, and others who are usually toting guns. Shoot-outs are usually the way John Wayne demonstrated his manhood. Movie producers have continued on this theme on-infinitum.
Now I am a huge fan of Tom Selleck. I have watched Magnum P.I. when it was on the air and the re-runs on Netflix. I love his humor and his style on the show. Of course his skimpy outfits are delightful too. And yes, there are guns on the show. It is a detective show after all. But what has changed since the 80s are the violence of video games and war games that take up much of the time of many, mostly, young men. I do not have statistics on this, but I feel it is also because many men are not available to be fathers to their kids. This is a huge problem. Most single parents raising their kids are mothers and most mothers cannot help their male children in areas of becoming a man. That is the father's job! Boys must identify with the father and break ties with the mother at some point to become men.
Now while there are single Dads too, there are far many more women as single parents than men, this I know to be a fact, in the 80% range. What is disturbing to me, is that so many young men are left, either by super busy fathers who have little time for them, or by over-worked mothers who are having trouble making ends meet and raising a family. Many women are left with the burden of raising their sons alone.
Part of the problem stems from our cultural demand for more and more in the material realm. We cannot sustain our economy like this, nor can we sustain a culture without initiation. It is literally killing us.
We cannot sustain a society that protects civil liberties over the lives of young children murdered by a young man who did so  in their classroom. My personal feeling is that there should be gun safety, background checks for every gun, buy back programs, and whatever we can do to stem the tide of gun violence. I am even for banning handguns. Riffles are okay for hunting, but why do we need weapons that are designed to hunt down each other? We now have a standing army. We do not need weapons to protect ourselves. Fear does not protect us, it only brings us what we don't want.
The challenge remains, that what is initiating our youth into more violence is the display of violence in the news, in video games, in every nook and cranny of our culture. We are an uninitiated society, or maybe what initiates our young boys into men is violence. This can change. It doesn't have to be this way. But first we have to examine how we initiate our young men into war. These issues are so intertwined. War, violence, cultural impotence to change the way we do things.
My suggestion is to initiate our men through nature. There are programs out there, great examples. Take the program in Mt.Shasta, California run by a man named Tim Corcoran of  Headwaters Outdoor School. He has been initiating young men in a healthy way into manhood for 30 years. He knows that when nature is the initiator there is less of a likelihood of violence and more of one with regard to life. Yes, his boys meet danger, they sit and observe bears, they make huts for them to sleep in, and they watch deer. But what they do mostly is get challenged to make a code of ethics, and live by that code once they leave Headwaters.
Native American cultures have done this for centuries. They have initiated children, boys and men through ceremonies that bring them back into the culture not through violence but through surrender, wisdom, respect and union with something greater than themselves. I know, I have danced in those very dances, not as a man, because I am a woman, but alongside my brothers. I have seen them transform. I have transformed as a result of these ceremonies.
However, perhaps for most kids in cities, just getting them into the wild is enough. Then, let mother nature do the work. Teach them survival skills, and the right use of the wild, and kids will be reconnected to what they have lost.
What they have lost and are trying to find is nothing less than their soul. This is something only a spiritual journey can offer for them. They will not find it in video games. In an increasing secular society, we are not helping our youth connect with their souls. It really doesn't have to be religious. But it can be spiritual. It doesn't have to be christian, jewish, or muslim either.
Take a walk in wild nature, and help your son find himself. This is one way that I know works without violence. Don't take a gun either. Take a knife, a sleeping bag, and some food. Have them build the fire or create a shelter. Take them fishing. Yes there is violence in nature. But there is much more peace than violence. And it is the peace that children today lack in our busy, self-important, city driven culture. Perhaps we can change violence as a form of initiation and instead offer boys a chance to connect to something greater than themselves: that is a culture that needs them to step into manhood safely and with self-compassion and love. Nature can help, and fathers can help a lot too. Make it your father's day gift to your children!
Happy Fathers Day!

The Cowardice of Senators

When 90% of the American people want sensible gun legislation, and the mostly republican senators filibuster abusing the process of legislative process, like adolescent children holding their breath until they are blue, I say they are cowards. Now I am not into name calling, but in this case, when they hear real stories of people whose lives are shattered forever with the death of their children from gun violence, I am appalled that these senators can show their face in public and expect somehow to be re-elected? They will not be re-elected, if the American people have anything to say about it. This American has something to say about it.
Here is my common sense gun control proposal for them to chew on:
1) Ban all hand guns. Period.
2) Ban all assault-style weapons including repeating rounds of ammunition.
3) Ban all clips for any gun with more than 5 bullets for public use.
4) Have a 'clean out the guns day,' including buy-back programs in every major city on the same day.
5) Melt those guns into sculptures commemorating the dead, especially the children in inner cities. Donate the metal to art programs for children to make into art, inlcuding to art schools for their sculpture programs.
6) Institute background checks for every gun registered, and sold in the U.S. period, this includes Internet sales.
7) All hunting riffles must be registered every year, and permits issued for them every year. Period.
8) Publicize every senator or congressman's name in every newspaper, news blog and on television who refuses to vote for such legislation.
9) Tar and feather the senators who vote against such legislation
10) Have those senators publicly apologize to the families of the victims who they voted against such legislation.
11) Make it a felony for a public official to spread lies and fear about pending legislation.

It is time we took back our country from lobbyists such as the ones that seem to have these cowards in their clutches. It is time they got a heart, and moved from fear of the gun lobby to love of our children. I know what it is like to live with a broken heart from loss of a child. My daughter died of natural causes. I cannot imagine what those families must be going through. It is time we acted together as a community for the good of all children. It is time we stopped these cowards from running our country. Are you angry yet? I am.